While the fine people of Massachusetts have a scene similar to this-
to look forward to in a couple of hours.
Danny Amendola and Olivia Culpo are on vacation in a laboratory that is able to simulate ideal weather conditions because I simply refuse to believe that this picture was taken at an actual beach on planet Earth.
However, after much research it does appear that the two love birds are in fact vacationing in the Bahamas. If it was not for my eternal gratitude towards Danny Amendola for his Super Bowl heroics, there might have been little bit of jealousy rumbling in my belly for the Patriots wideout.
Alas, since Mr. Amendola and by association Ms. Culpo, helped deliver Tom Brady and the New England Patriots their 5th Super Bowl title I am personally offering to shovel Amendola’s driveway while he is away on vacation to show my appreciation. This service also includes the shoveling and salting of his walkway to ensure a safe and slip free environment for when he eventually returns from paradise, we certainly don’t need any off-season knee injuries. In addition, I am willing to shovel out his car, as it will undoubtedly be left buried by a mountain of snow after Amendola’s neighbors forced him to remove his protective carport last year.
For this backbreaking and laborious work, I do not ask for any monetary payment, as I do it for my love and commitment towards the New England Patriots. All I ask in return, and it’s a small favor really, is that Danny introduces me to a couple of his girlfriend’s friends. A modest and humble request if anything.
And just a reminder to Danny, make sure you have cell phone reception down by the beach so that your agent is able to contact you in regards to your inevitable contract restructuring. Just like the sun rises in the East and sets in the West, Danny Amendola restructures his contract every off-season. You can’t fight the laws of nature.