Satire– A new report has surfaced shedding light on exactly what caused New England Patriots WR Julian Edelman to violate the NFL policy on performance enhancing substances.
This report claims that the slot receiver failed his drug test due to eating a tainted tomato that was found to be contaminated with trace amounts of human growth hormone.
This comes as shocking news, as Edelman is a known disciple of the TB12 Method which strictly forbids nightshades such as tomatoes due to their inflammatory nature.
Edelman’s trainer, Alex Guerrero, has released a statement voicing his displeasure over the reason behind Edelman’s failed test-
“It’s very disappointing to see this happen to Jules. We all know Julian is one of the hardest working players in the NFL, but both Tom and I have extensively warned him of the dangers of nightshades such as tomatoes. Unfortunately, Julian doesn’t keep as strict of a diet as Tom and it appears that Jules’ affinity for burgers was his downfall in this case, as he’s notorious for topping them off a with a freshly sliced tomato.”
Edelman is currently appealing his four game suspension by the NFL, and it is not yet clear how this new information will affect his case.
